If thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings lead to actions… then I want to have some sort of control over my feelings, so that I feel good, and act in a way that’s in line with my values.
Do you?
How, though? Right? That’s what you are asking. There are so many models and method out there you could be reading forever. And what are the chances of it sticking? And, you remembering to use it? We’ve spent years allowing negative, or unsupportive thoughts become our automatic negative thoughts. Changing that is hard. It takes time. And effort. And practice.
We are often so busy, and caught up in our everyday lives that we forget to practice our new methods, and our new way of thinking and controlling our thoughts.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate” Elizabeth Gilbert
Here’s a tip to help you remember to apply whatever method you are using to change your automatic thoughts and take control of selecting your thoughts.
Apply a trigger. Use something to remind you to check in with yourself, check your thoughts, what are you telling yourself? I use stickers when I am at my desk. I place small round yellow dots on one or two prominent places where I work; e.g. the phone or the side of my monitor. Every time I clock those stickers, I try to check in with myself. I ask myself, what am I thinking right now. Is it positive or negative? Is it supportive? Is it TRUE? Do I need to change it? Or release it? Or do I need to reframe it so it sits better with me?
Of course, every now and then I have to change the location of the sticker, because I get too accustomed to it in it’s current place, and don’t notice it often enough!
Do you use triggers to remind you to check in with your thoughts? What do you use? Share them in the comments below
And if you don’t use them, I invite you to try it out.
that sticker idea is a great one!
Sounds silly but i give myself ‘pep’ talks when I am on the loo 🙂
Pep talks in the loo, brilliant Jo
I love the sticker idea too! That’s super practical and helpful in terms of HOW to remember to pay attention to your thoughts, which frankly I think is what stops many of us from being able to do that. I really like that Elizabeth Gilbert quote, too–such a clear metaphor, and an image most of us wouldn’t associate with thoughts.
Thanks for sharing this, Joanna!
Thanks Paige, glad it hit a helpful note for you
what a great idea with the stickers! I try to give myself a shake when I find myself starting to down talk. A more visible reminder would definitely help!
Thanks Bobbi. Good luck with the triggers
Wow, this is a brilliant idea! I’m trying to increase my consistency with a couple of projects so linking them to a trigger is a fantastic tactic – thanks!
Great! I hop it works for you Caylie
I don’t use triggers but it is sure a great idea. I get lost in negatives if I don’t stop myself. I don’t know, maybe I do – when I tend to be overwhelmed with old tapes I either play a positive podcast or read some positive quotes – maybe that is my trigger?
It’s fantastic that you catch yourself Sara. Awareness is key. Sometimes we get so lost in the moment we aren’t aware of what we are thinking and the old negative ways creep in. That’s my motivation for the triggers, to try and increase my awareness, and stop it more often, faster